Apparently, some time ago, someone took the time to write a song about me. Thank you, Crack Monkeys. If only I could find you and the actual song.
Was a man
Who never washed his hands
Got a staff infection
Now they have to amputate it
Now he has no hands
Wash your damn hands
It's not cool to be like Stinky Stan
Wash your damn hands
Was a man
Who didn't wash his feet
Got Gang Green
That's discusting
Then they rotted off
Now he has no feet
Wash your damn feet
It's not cool to be like Stinky Stan
Wash your damn feet
Stinky Stan
Was a man
Who didn't wash his hair
Smelled so bad, they shaved it off
Now his head is bare
Wash your damn hair
It's not cool to be like Stinky Stan
Wash your damn hair
Was a man
Who never washed his face
Got lots of pimples
Never shaved
Now he can't get a date
Has to masturbate
Wash your damn face
It's not cool to be like Stinky Stan
Wash your damn face
Was a man
Who never took a bath
Smelled like shit
All his friends split
Now he plays Dungeons and Dragons
All by himself
Take a damn bath
It's not cool to be like Stinky Stan
Take a damn bath
Was a man
Who turned into a freak
Lives under a bridge
Eats dead fish
Now he's dead
Never got head
Say no to drugs
It's not cool to be like Stinky Stan
Say no to drugs
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